CZVNI's avatar

CZVNI

~asexual girl in a sexual world~

deluxetoaster:

sonsofsauron:

deluxetoaster:

where did this website’s sudden obsession with skeletons come from

From inside ourselves.

fcugn no first of alll;, you do not come into my house with your bullshit skeleton puns do u wanna fucking fite I could take like 5 shitty skeltons don’t test me

cunt3rparts:

it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and you notice your phrases slowly slipping into their vocabulary

  • *A guy and a girl walk in and order their coffee. They sit across from each other and just start talking. The guy asks her if she'd like to go out with him. She politely turns him down and says she's not interested. The guy begins to rant about how "nice guys finish last"*

  • Guy:

    I've known you since freshman year! I've been there during all your break ups with jerks and you treat me like this?

  • Girl:

    So just because you're there for me, I should date you? Is that what you're saying?

  • Guy:

    I'm just saying you should give me a chance.

  • Girl:

    Listen, I just don't like you in that way. I'm not looking for a relationship and I want us to be friends, and nothing more. I'm sorry, I just want to stay where we are right now.

  • Guy:

    Why don't you like me? It's because I'm not an asshole, huh?

  • Girl:

    You gotta be fucking kidding me. You seriously think I go for guys who treat me like garbage? I go for guys who I like, guys who don't play the "nice guys finish last" card.

  • Guy:

    I'm just saying what needs to be said. You don't appreciate all the things that I've done for you.

  • Girl:

    Oh yeah? Like what?

  • Guy:

    There was that one time I got you some pads when you were on your...you know....

  • Girl:

    OH, SO BECAUSE YOU HELPED ME PREVENT MY PANTIES FROM LOOKING LIKE SOMETHING THAT CLEANED UP A MURDER SCENE, I SHOULD TOTALLY FUCK YOU, RIGHT?

  • Guy:

    Please, just lower your voice, you're causing a scene-.

  • Girl:

    NO, LET THEM KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKWAD THAT THINKS I SHOULD RIDE YOUR DICK JUST BECAUSE YOU TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN.

  • Girl:

    I don't owe you ANYTHING. I'm grateful for the things you've done for me, but it's hard to remain grateful when you act like an inconsiderate jerk like you're doing right now.

  • Girl:

    Do me a favor and get your head out of your ass, it's not a hat. Stick to a fedora like all the other "friend-zoned" guys out there.

  • *the whole cafe sits in silence*

  • *barista starts clapping*

scottish:

hearin a really shitty pun
image

makin a really shitty pun
image

thefatgirlblog:

"All these young girls getting themselves pregnant"

Wow, self impregnating teenage girls, these men should be afraid, we as woman are evolving at alarming rates.

otakukeith:

thederpysage:

lyssalovescookies:

flailmorpho:

wastelandbabe:

lowbutt:

MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT

I LOVE SCIENCE TEACHERS

I’M SORRY BUT HOW BADLY DID HE FUCK UP READING HIS CALIPER?

He’s just sort of eyeballing it like “Damn look at all this science”

SCIENCE
SCIENCE EVERYWHERE

I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming.

Rachel C. Lewis, Tell The People You Love That You Love Them (via sidebraids)

This makes me feel a little better

(via purplexity)

ohh-bother:

pixiedust-paycheck:

I can’t

Walk into the club like what up I got a big flock

ohh-bother:

pixiedust-paycheck:

I can’t

Walk into the club like what up I got a big flock